A smile and beyond

His name was Michael. I remember because he had an Afro, big, black,

encircling his head. It made me think of Michael the archangel and the

many artistic depictions of angels and saints, usually with a holy glow

around their head.

I was waiting at a Colfax bus stop. Michael, straddling a bike, rolls in my

direction. As is my custom, I make eye contact, smile, say “hi” and try to

engage. He looks like many of our friends—lots of time at bus stops,

hanging out, drinking, getting high.

He says “hi” and stops to talk. Right out the gate he says this: “Thank you

for smiling at us. Not many people do.” Struck by the words, I tucked them

away to chew on later.

We chatted a bit. Young, pleasant, engaging, he shared his ups and downs.

In recovery, clean at the moment with a roof over his head, he was ahead

of many of our friends. A believer, he shared words from the armor of God

passage. So, some good things going on for him. Yet, mid-day, fit, young

and clearly able, hanging out at a bus stop, trouble territory for our friends.

Not working, not pursuing other things that would put him in a better place.

I told him a bit about myself and JOC, prayed with him and then took my

seat on the bus.

Settling on the bus, I thought through our interaction, haunted by his

comment about my smile, a smile that started a conversation. Just a smile.

I thought back over the years we have served on Colfax and the hundreds,

maybe thousands of conversations that started with a smile. Showing up

and loving people begins with a smile, eye contact and a “hi”. I thought

about the relationships that grew out of those smiles, the joy, fun, and

impact that have happened. Started with a smile! I don’t, by the way, think

that my smile is particularly special. Any smile will do.

Think about our friends, the Michaels of our world. His second sentence is

haunting—“Not a lot of people smile at us.” He meant people like me, like

us, those with lives more normal, more comfortable, more put together. Not

a lot of us smile at the poor and marginalized.

Think about that. People like us, even when we are around the poor, often

don’t look at them, let alone smile. Sometimes we are afraid of them, fearful

they will ask for money, uncertain how to act. We look away. “Not many

people smile at us.” They feel, and are, overlooked and ignored.

When we do look, we often look with anger, judgement and contempt. A

look that says, “You are a worthless. Why don’t you get your life together?”

When we won’t look at them, they feel invisible and worthless. When we

look with scorn they feel shamed and judged. Rarely do they get a smile,

kind engagement and a simple conversation that communicates their

infinite worth, a worth equal to that of the smiler.

Recently, I was holding my youngest grandchild, little Ilsa, a couple months

old. I have her safely cradled between my legs while I look at her and she

at me. I smile and coo at her. She smiles back, babbles a bit and we

interact the way you do with a baby. Lots of eye contact, smiling, baby

noises, communicating deep love in a small interaction. Ilsa, like all babies,

craves this loving attention. She is happy here, loved and secure. She only

gets upset when I look away! That smiling, loving interaction is the

foundation of a healthy life.

For Michael, and many of our friends, they did not receive that smiling,

loving, engaging, adoring attention. Home life was chaotic and they were

often, even from birth, overlooked and ignored. When you don’t get that as

a child, you grow up with a hole in your heart. And, when you have a hole

in your heart, you are set up for a life of bad choices, chaos, pain and

addiction, trying to fill that hole.

That might explain why for Michael, and others, a smile means so much,

healing up a tiny bit of that hole in their hearts. “Thank you for smiling at us.

Not many people do.” Let that be an encouragement to all of us to smile at

people, especially, when around our friends. As Mother Theresa said,

“Everything begins with a smile.”

But…a smile is not enough. Not enough to fill that hole, not enough to heal

a deeply broken person. That is a longer and harder journey. Our friends

need deep relationships with people who walk the long road to well-being

with them. Sometimes, all we get is that smile and brief interaction, and

trust Jesus to use that. But our approach of showing up and loving

people—starting with a smile—needs to turn into a long-term relationship, a

loving walk with our friends through all the ups and downs of their lives.

Slow, beautiful, at times very hard work that helps them walk the path

towards change. We see change in relationship.

But even that, powerful as it is, is not enough to reach the life Jesus has for

our friends. They face giants—trauma, mental illness, addiction, lack of

housing, lack of work, lack of progress towards Jesus. Our work also

includes providing practical access to the help needed with these giants,

work that takes those willing to engage, further on the journey.

Think of JOC’s ministry as two halves of an equation. The first half is

smiling, showing up, loving people, beginning a deep relationship. The

second half is continuing that relationship, opening doorways to practical

help. All centered around the loving presence of Jesus.

The beginning of JOC focused on the first half of that equation and it is still

our heartbeat. But, increasingly, we have invested in the second half,

practical help towards progress. Through our Family Rooms, the Wheel of

Wellbeing, classes we offer, partnerships with other organizations, and a

host of other tools, we offer help that can transform. Again, slow, hard,

beautiful work.

Over the next couple of months we will begin pressing deeper into the

second half of the equation. In January we will roll out the pilot of a new

program (still to be named), that will provide housing, help with mental

health and addiction, and job training (through Jubilee Roasting, our coffee

company). Exciting stuff! Join us at the Fall Dessert on September 27, and

hear Kayla Horne, our Executive Director, fill in details of this vision. We

would love to have you there. Sign up here.

“Thank you for smiling at us. Not many people do.” It begins there, but we

are committed to going further. Thanks for supporting us on this journey.